tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-152569132011-04-21T21:17:10.389-05:00When you don't get enough sleep, all kinds of crap crosses your mind...Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.comBlogger2191100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-88141104207226047372008-04-04T14:56:00.004-05:002008-04-04T15:41:03.720-05:00

Dear David,You know, I totally respect that you won the first Design Star contest with all your stunning talent, you taught yourself how to build, and you create wonderful artwork for every client on your show, Color Splash. I even find some really awesome ideas I'd like to try. It's great, I'm happy for you, good wishes.Thing is, though, I'm starting to see a pattern in your work. You're too

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-83061644608515796822008-03-30T00:05:00.001-05:002008-03-30T00:08:29.053-05:00

I wrote this last summer and never published it. After dusting it off and shining it up a bit, I thought I'd share it with you.*****Kelley: Hello?Traci: Did you watch HGTV this morning?Kelley: Yeah, the kids actually took a nap, so I had the TV to myself.Traci: Oh my god, did you SEE that hideous room they redid on Decorating Cents?Kelley: You mean the perfectly classy dining room with dark

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-6335696418750092522008-03-20T14:55:00.003-05:002008-03-20T15:21:26.709-05:00

Sorry I've not posted in a long time. I hope to rectify that just as soon as I can get motivated (by which I mean when the temperature rises too high for me to do anything but stay indoors all day).I've got two videos for all you gamers out there who have a sense of humor (you overly serious types need to get over yourselves, because there is more to life than having ten level 70 characters).

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-83903767393272303992007-12-28T15:08:00.000-06:002007-12-28T15:38:42.838-06:00

Dear Idiot Brother-in-law,You are an ungrateful snot. Pay your god damned car note before you completely fuck up your brother's credit. If my husband and I can't buy a house or get a student loan because of YOU and your ridiculous need to drive a sports car, I will BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU.Don't ask us for Christmas or birthday presents anymore. Don't ask for "help" buying a motorcycle.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-55809001417550878452007-12-23T11:31:00.000-06:002007-12-23T11:38:44.494-06:00

I don't know which executive thought it was a bright idea to discontinue the SuperMoist Cinnamon Swirl Cake Mix, but s/he was an absolute IDIOT to do so, especially now that Christmas is here. I cannot tell you how many requests I get for Cinnamon Swirl Cake With Raisins from family and friends. Now I've had to improvise with the Butter Pecan, which, by the way, tastes like really old banana

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-14684036299832591612007-12-21T01:18:00.001-06:002007-12-21T01:32:23.657-06:00

You suck. Nah, not really. You aren't that bad. And I know the Denver Nuggets are a tough team, what with them being able to fly and all.But you totally screwed up, Bettier, fouling that dude at 4.5 seconds left in double overtime. I was willing to flash you if you'd won. (Well, I was willing to flash the TV.) BUT NO. You can't hang on to a lead to save yourself from a titty-less existence. So

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-91045274567015001562007-11-14T09:46:00.000-06:002007-11-14T09:54:48.994-06:00

Taken from a MySpace bulletin.DOG DIARY8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!7:00 pm - Got

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-20496920672838716292007-11-02T22:55:00.000-05:002007-11-02T23:07:03.882-05:00

Dear Whore-y Bitch,That security guard you asked to walk you out to your car in the parking lot? Yeah, he's married.Flirting with him was not a good idea.Nor was hugging him.And especially not the part where you shook your ass near his face three times when he bent down to turn on the escalator. Three times.By the way, that last part was caught on tape. And replayed for everyone in the office to

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-40842283784188970212007-10-18T08:44:00.000-05:002007-10-18T09:28:44.462-05:00

Get into a relationship with and eventually marry a loser who lies, cheats on you, and makes you feel bad about yourself.Move this loser in with you, into a home that your family is providing for you.Keep having kids with the guy, even though he obviously doesn't really want to help you take care of them.Don't give him any real consequences when he stays out until 4 in the morning.Keep asking

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-58928133544051171982007-10-03T16:54:00.000-05:002007-10-03T17:35:40.918-05:00

Want to give to a charity but don't know which one to choose? Wishing you could get something in return for your donation besides a tax deduction?Try the Tomato Nation Fall Contest! Simply donate to one of the charities listed in the TN challenge on DonorsChoose (any amount is fine, seriously, even if it's $5), and forward your e-mail receipt to Sars (webmistress of Tomato Nation). You'll have a

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-25391232226368858132007-09-21T19:40:00.000-05:002007-09-21T20:50:54.132-05:00

Dear GMA,I know we've grown into an increasingly voyeuristic culture. With little starlets running amok every time you turn around, and millions of people desperate for any shred of evidence proving that they are in fact better than highly paid celebrities, it's easy to see why the media business is booming and the paparazzi are even more in-your-face than ever before.But please, GMA, you don't

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-48828112712683514182007-09-20T16:59:00.000-05:002007-09-20T17:30:04.661-05:00

I'm pleased to introduce a new feature here at "Sleep? What's That?" Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the How To series, in which I discuss creative solutions to problems both abnormal and mundane.Today's topic:How To Get a Glue Trap Off a Toddler's Bare Foot If the trap is also stuck to something else, get that thing off first. Rip that sucker off, but be sure not to yank the child's leg when

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-47665728574782420462007-09-15T14:00:00.000-05:002007-09-15T14:02:53.659-05:00

Dude, if I ever commit a crime and must be incarcerated, deport me to the Philipines and send me over to THAT prison. Reformation never looked so fun.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-79504539554798014222007-09-14T20:06:00.000-05:002007-09-14T20:23:21.775-05:00

I enter the bedroom, plop down on my husband's stomach, and start kissing his face.Me: *smooch smooch smooch*Bizarro Dad: Okay, okay, I get it. You love me.Me: Of course I do.BD: It's all a front.Me: What is? My kissing you?BD: Your loving me. You only love me because you love my beautiful-baby-producing ability.Me: So you're saying I only love you because I... love you? And because we made

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-81447704878367866362007-09-11T12:36:00.000-05:002007-09-11T13:00:39.764-05:00

I hate Hamburger Helper.The smell of it cooking makes me want to vomit. Its lumpy, slimy texture in my mouth makes me think I am vomiting. Besides which, cheeseburger and macaroni together are just unnatural.I used to love the stuff.Cheeseburger Macaroni was probably the last meal I fixed for my ex-fiance. In this very kitchen, no less. He was ecstatic. He said it was his favorite. He told me I

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-60976785528965074542007-09-06T11:16:00.000-05:002007-09-06T11:16:11.856-05:00

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to see Lex Luthor:Wear a track suit instead of Armani suitsTalk like some kind of VJLook like he's obviously uncomfortable talking like a VJ, but do it anywayNot know the socially acceptable behavior for any given situation (i.e. whether or not he should remove his shirt in a parking lot in the middle of someone else's face-off)Make up stupid answers

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-28259732918126976592007-09-04T23:06:00.000-05:002007-09-05T00:08:40.715-05:00

There are two things that run in my family along the matriarchal line: diabetes, and storing all our fat in the front of our stomachs, resulting in that six-months-pregnant look throughout the year.Grandma, a diabetic of many years and a great lover of Dr Pepper and Mexican pastries, has finally reached the point of requiring insulin shots. It's kind of sad, but at least it's a tiny needle

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-64112756763121459232007-08-31T21:28:00.000-05:002007-08-31T22:46:45.846-05:00

Pimple in the ear canalAll these idiotic shows about bounty hunters (which, by the way, cops make fun of, especially Dog the Bounty Hunter, which, who wouldn't? It's blatantly obvious that they're all hamming it up for the camera)A 500+ piece puzzle nearly completed with one piece missing from the box35 minutes for lunch, 20 minutes of which are spent waiting in the lunch lineBeing hungry and

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-2998646293164846012007-08-27T19:00:00.000-05:002007-08-28T00:05:53.795-05:00

You know that feeling you get when you're nervous about something but you're trying not to show it, but it keeps on popping out anyway?That's what I'm like today, on my oldest child's first day of school.There were no tears, just a few moments of agitation when I realized that my daughter was listed as a car-rider instead of a walker, at which point I began to freak out just a little bit at the

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-32285582405335787722007-08-18T23:42:00.000-05:002007-08-19T01:45:34.457-05:00

Quilted NorthernA mother and her 7-year-old daughter emerge from the shower, towel off, and begin their daily beauty regimen. A narrator blathers on about the way we take care of ourselves and the people we care about. Random shots of packages of Quilted Northern toilet paper are woven in with shots of Mom and Girl using every hygiene and skin care product known to man EXCEPT for toilet paper.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-48975401015475544022007-08-09T20:52:00.000-05:002007-08-09T21:04:53.492-05:00

I present to you:Celebrity Bull RidingNo, seriously.Sadly, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton will not be part of the spectacle, nor will Dr. Phil or that asshat from Grey's Anatomy.Dude, St. Gabriel and I need to have a conversation very soon. I fear he has been neglecting his post.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-51202205713623680432007-08-07T20:25:00.000-05:002007-08-07T21:47:54.792-05:00

Even with all the wacky saints in the Catholic church's saint index (St. Eligius, patron saint of cab drivers), it's nice to know that there are still some saints who you can pray to (if you're so inclined) for something that makes sense. If I were the type to pray to a saint (which I'm not), I'd be directing my prayers to St. Martin de Porres, patron saint of public schools.I count myself

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-4536301885812365362007-08-06T18:58:00.000-05:002007-08-06T19:06:21.553-05:00

Best fan-video EVER.I don't know about you, but I feel immensely cheered up after watching this.Please direct me to any fun videos you know of. I just went and registered my baby for kindergarten in the same school as her ancestors (by which I mean myself, my husband, and both our mothers), so I could do with some laughs to make me not feel like such an old fart.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-2698438384257255302007-07-31T01:22:00.000-05:002007-07-31T01:39:01.835-05:00

Eighty-two years of living. Fifty-nine years of marriage. Laboring, sweating, building, repairing, fighting, sailing, fishing, hunting, teaching, swearing, holding, talking, loving, breathing.Years of suffering.Done now.No more struggling just to breathe.No more arguing over who did what to whom.No more fear.No more pain. Rest now.Float on the lovely ocean in my dreams.Goodbye, Popo. I'm sorry I

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-63195133700737280662007-07-28T01:03:00.000-05:002007-07-28T01:36:02.202-05:00

So, the girl we're having this baby shower for, does she have a boyfriend or a fiance or something?Your daughter's pregnant? Better get out that shotgun.Oh, you're a single mom. Do all your kids have the same father?Oh, you're a single mom. Are you ever going to get back together with your kid's father?I know she's married, but do all her kids come from the same daddy?How long after you got

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-84713446055295054272007-07-23T22:13:00.000-05:002007-07-23T22:27:45.687-05:00

Now that you're 18, I'm breaking any laws when I find and stare at this:I am now accepting members for Future Wives of Daniel Radcliffe (Anonymous).

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-78321439256786971562007-07-18T20:41:00.000-05:002007-07-19T19:09:41.817-05:00

Avert your eyes if you must, but I am putting my predictions about the seventh Harry Potter book here, on the internet, before the book is released, so that when some of this stuff actually comes true, I have it on record that I saw it coming.Percy Weasley will betray his family, friends, and even the ministry; in his ambitious pursuit of power, he will become a spy for Voldemort, who after all

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-78205655946464791992007-07-15T18:42:00.000-05:002007-07-15T19:32:13.086-05:00

Most women, at one point or another in their lives, will be heard uttering something along the lines of "Men are such pigs," or "All men are dogs," or "Men are disgusting, with the burping and the passing gas and the general uncleanliness." Mostly these are reactions to something occuring at the moment or to an annoying habit. But today I am determined to find out: just how disgusting in general

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-50293015201009748562007-07-07T12:29:00.000-05:002007-07-07T14:00:02.134-05:00

Bizarro Dad told our daughters that if we couldn't take them to the beach this weekend, we'd get some new fish for the fish tank (45 gallons, and we only have two algae eaters and one very aggressive cichlid who eats any other fish we introduce).Bizarro Dad then remembered his final exam is on Monday, and if he passes THAT, the state exam is two days later. All his spare time (when he's not

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-45840389831409912752007-07-05T13:06:00.000-05:002007-07-05T13:34:45.909-05:00

One block.Three houses.Forty or more adults.Fifteen to twenty children.Two hundred burgers and hot dogs.Ten ice chests.Numerous beers, waters, and sodas.Unknown quantities of mixed drinks.Five trays of red and blue Jello shots.Fifty lawn chairs.Four police officers and three EMTs, all of whom showed up for the food.Eight hundred pounds of hardcore fireworks (retail value $6000.00), including 8

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-3278147368501833092007-07-01T12:32:00.000-05:002007-07-01T13:51:20.267-05:00

You know the usual MySpace survey questions: "What's your middle name?" "What were you doing last night?" "What's your favorite color?" "When are you going to be out of the house for longer than three hours?" "Where do you keep the spare key?" It gets weird. Here are some sample questions from an actual survey, along with my answers, all of which are true. (Yes, this is in fact a fluff post. Fuck

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-32915241305104716152007-06-30T02:07:00.000-05:002007-06-30T02:17:19.023-05:00

Here's my cadaver value:$4765.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worthMingle2 - Online DatingAnd this one is my Popo's:$5530.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worthMingle2 - Online DatingHowever, I think perhaps his may be inaccurate because, although he no longer smokes, drinks, or eats anything that isn't piped in with a tube, he once did all those

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-65711550030534048872007-06-28T23:52:00.000-05:002007-06-28T23:57:28.833-05:00

Check him out at www.myspace.com/coastspace and buy his CD! You won't be sorry.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-3219453290686278632007-06-17T16:37:00.000-05:002007-06-17T16:38:59.412-05:00

http://www.guyznite.com

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-45231364019219381822007-06-12T11:39:00.000-05:002007-06-12T12:23:58.630-05:00

If we destroy our planet or just ourselves, the universe won't give a shit. Just like we don't care about a random ant colony on the other side of the world.Explain to me how our problems are supposed to be solved by talking to the sky? Clearly the sky is full and has infinitely greater things going on than our petty grievances or even than our legitimate concerns.We only have one tiny part of

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-32368134870601326572007-06-10T00:43:00.000-05:002007-06-10T00:51:55.221-05:00

Last weekend, six different kinds of animals died for our dinner:ShrimpCatfishPig (bacon for the shrimp, plus hot dogs and sausage)Cow (beef fajitas and hamburger patties)Chicken (chicken fajitas)Turkey (turkey patties and grilled turkey breast, which was supposed to be turkey fajitas but in reality was turkey jerky)Also giving up the ghost were several mosquitos, which were not used in food prep

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-53479773215492778722007-06-08T19:08:00.000-05:002007-06-08T20:05:58.409-05:00

When I gave birth in a military hospital, I had a private room all to myself (well, if by "private" you mean "sixteen different nurses, doctors, midwives, medical assistants, orderlies, and various emergency pediatric personnel." Sterilized equipment was used, along with monitors for both my contractions and baby's heart rate. Someone even came in with a what looked like a really REALLY long

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-23209100869999565102007-06-07T11:09:00.000-05:002007-06-07T11:10:28.569-05:00

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-19549463426747308382007-06-05T10:41:00.000-05:002007-06-05T11:17:28.307-05:00

Here at Sleep? What's That?, we are committed to providing a variety of entertainment to you, the three readers who check in on a semi-frequent basis. Today we'd like to present our newest feature, Kelley and Traci: Conversations of Bored Stay-At-Home Moms.Traci: Hello?Kelley: Hey, whatcha doing?Traci: Oh, I’m stuck folding laundry and watching Blues Clues instead of the Today show.Kelley: Me too

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-12604639180144240632007-06-05T00:05:00.000-05:002007-06-05T00:08:37.024-05:00

Seriously, how can you not LOVE a show that makes your favorite music accessible to young children?

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-75461541262356515062007-06-04T11:58:00.000-05:002007-06-04T13:28:35.471-05:00

Run, don't walk, to your nearest grocery store, preferably with a good seafood counter, and get the following:a barbecue pit (if you don't already have one)1 bag charcoallighter fluidbamboo skewers (soak these in water for 1 hour before use)1 to 1 1/2 lbs. jumbo shrimp2 lbs baconbutter, margarine, or spreadlemon juicelemon pepper seasoningcayenne peppercumin powder (a.k.a. comino)garlic

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-21439138276780441692007-05-31T13:11:00.000-05:002007-05-31T11:11:44.252-05:00

SpongeBob BeforeSpongeBob After For pure therapy, there's nothing quite like taking an effigy of the cartoon character who invades your household peace and beating the shit out of it. Or, in this case, letting your kids and all their cousins and neighbors beat the shit out of it. You know, I think I want a pinata for MY birthday this year...

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-52693596446326281942007-05-31T11:13:00.000-05:002007-05-31T11:25:49.220-05:00

These are rugs that I crocheted by hand, using fabric remnants and old sheets. Both measure about 24 to 30 inches in diameter, and are machine washable and dryable. Tell me, would YOU buy something like this? (I ask in earnest, as I would like to sell my wares online, just like this guy, a very talented artist whose work I enjoy.) How much would you pay for something like this?

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-89348846622765522422007-05-30T00:06:00.000-05:002007-05-30T00:59:36.780-05:00

As I mentioned before, in direct violation of the Geneva Convention, Subsection: Hispanic Party Regulations, I did NOT serve alcohol at my child's 3rd birthday party, nor did I hire a DJ or mariachis or even rent a moonwalk. Paying for music and a giant inflatable castle just wasn't financially feasible this year, and even if it were, I don't think I would have bothered. That's NOT how I roll. As

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-63677538571391149232007-05-29T16:13:00.000-05:002007-05-30T00:59:57.139-05:00

Insanity is trying to jam 23 people into one living/dining room with one loveseat, one recliner, a variety of dining chairs, office chairs, and lawn chairs, 2 ice chests (no alcohol), 7 pizzas, 1 giant salad, 2 cakes, 1 dinner table, 2 little tables, 10(?) gifts, 4 kid-friendly-but-messy indoor activities, 10 party favor bags, and 1 enormous SpongeBob SquarePants pinata bigger than the birthday

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-88613587532345773372007-05-24T13:11:00.000-05:002007-05-30T01:00:30.286-05:00

This is my new wallpaper. I don't care if makes me a nerd-girl, Star Trek is one of those shows that's cheesy AND awesome at the same time. Seriously, why is it that whenever the Enterprise ever had a problem, they always referred back to the knowledge of Earth in the 19oo's? Never the 21st century, and never any time before the 20th, was there an appropriate scenario from which to extract the

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-46629601818231676842007-05-23T12:26:00.000-05:002007-05-30T01:00:38.408-05:00

So today I'm watching Everyday Food on PBS, and there's a recipe for Southwestern Chicken Wraps.Yeah. Because in the southwest, they call chicken, beans, tomato, and avocado on a tortilla a "wrap."It's a taco, bitch. It has always been a taco, it always will be a taco, and no amount of white-lady influence will ever make it anything else but a taco, not even the use of whole-wheat tortillas. The

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-17720219637164473962007-05-22T09:43:00.000-05:002007-05-30T01:01:02.115-05:00

Okay, ladies and gents, it's time for you to settle an argument. (Not a serious one, mind you, but one that's annoying me.)If a husband, after getting off work at midnight, stays out until 2:00 AM and doesn't call (he usually does, just not this time), does that man have a right to tell his wife, when she's going to her best friend's house, not to come home at an "ungodly hour" (which he then

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-25197314157571068512007-05-17T11:44:00.000-05:002007-05-17T13:38:17.489-05:00

Dear ABC,I realize that it's become much harder to keep the masses focused on you now that cable TV is so cheap and families like mine would rather watch home makeover shows on HGTV or that docu-drama about those fishermen on Discovery or CSI reruns on the Spike channel. That, apparently, is very difficult programming to compete with. Clearly this must be the case, or you would not have to work

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-43557006636743810482007-05-14T21:05:00.000-05:002007-05-30T01:01:26.417-05:00

Last week my mother told me that if she ever has heart failure, she does NOT want a pacemaker installed. Especially not one with a defibrillator.Her father, my grandpa, is in ICU right now. His lungs keep filling up with fluid and his kidneys are failing, so his heart has to work ridiculously hard to keep the blood flowing. It's so painful just to breathe that the nurses are keeping him sedated.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-17533363116266363772007-05-04T09:28:00.000-05:002007-05-04T12:22:30.945-05:00

25 Years Ago I drove a car that looked like this:I was three and a half. One of my mom's brother's had died right before my birthday, so when she had my brother, she gave him my uncle's name as a middle name. True to family tradition, nobody ever called my brother by his first name or middle name, and instead called him something else entirely: "Bub." By this time 25 years ago, my brother was two

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-89537546860870419832007-04-20T20:43:00.000-05:002007-04-20T21:47:17.973-05:00

I don't know what the damn deal is with all these trigger-happy turd brains in this country, but I've had just about enough.I refer you to the crazy shit that happened at NASA today. You may get confused by the poorly written article, so in a nutshell: Bill Phillips a contractor with Jacobs Engineering who worked at Johnson Space Center, went nuts today and took some people hostage in Building 44

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-24608264235424910502007-04-17T12:13:00.000-05:002007-04-17T12:26:26.746-05:00

Dear Virginia Tech,I am horrified by what happened at your campus, and there is nothing I can say that will make any of the victims' families and friends feel any better. My prayers go out to them all.That being said, I have a bone to pick with you.GET A FUCKING INTERCOM SYSTEM.Yeah, I get it, you thought the shooter had run away, and didn't realize he stuck around to shoot more people. You

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-20209171921488582142007-04-07T12:00:00.000-05:002007-04-07T12:09:14.495-05:00

My life as I know it is over.I suppose it was only a matter of time, really. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.I blame myself.I should never have got cable.That's right, I am now facing the $64,000 question:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? That's right. Me. Thanks a lot, girls. And you too, Time Warner.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-15733245924526607002007-04-03T13:50:00.000-05:002007-04-05T10:37:44.907-05:00

You know what's sad? When your someone in your family wishes you'd get a divorce because they hate your spouse AND think the relationship is crap. And one of them secretly tells your ex.You know what's funny? Being the ex. Because even though it is so wrong to laugh at the misfortunes of others, it is situationally hilarious when the one who was dumped for a specific flaw is replaced by a person

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-10427446938191298762007-03-07T08:08:00.000-06:002007-03-07T09:10:15.091-06:00

Will somebody please tell me why the hell conservative politicians still associate themselves with Ann Coulter?In case you didn't click on that link, Coulter went before the Conservative Political Action Conference and, in a piddling attempt at a joke, called Presidential hopeful John Edwards a faggot. And got a slow but building laugh.I know liberals tend to call far-right conservatives a bunch

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-3251079998494070692007-03-03T21:11:00.000-06:002007-03-03T21:57:48.750-06:00

At testimony meetings, you hear people say how they missed church, how there was a hole in their lives, etc., and how happy they are now they've come back.I haven't been to church in about two months.And I don't miss it.Not yet, anyway.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-55553716500408085632007-03-01T11:14:00.000-06:002007-03-01T12:21:49.657-06:00

Title: Zoom: Academy for HeroesMPAA Rating: PG, for brief rude humor, language and mild action (Remember, G movies don't have action)Cast: Tim Allen (you should know by now how I feel about him), Rip Torn (he's just there for a paycheck), Chevy Chase (ditto paycheck), Spencer Breslin (that overweight boy who's in too many movies, like the male Dakota Fanning, and in fact was in Cat in the Hat

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-77272342348987436022007-02-27T12:34:00.000-06:002007-02-27T12:45:51.914-06:00

Pelham Library is issuing a Banned Book Challenge to all. Simply put, commit to read a certain number of books between February 26 (yesterday) and June 30, 2007. For clarification, Pelham Library does not ban books, but has provided a list of books that have been banned in other places. You are free to choose any books that have been banned anywhere, whether listed or not.This is a healthy thing

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-41108929806225013572007-02-26T10:03:00.000-06:002007-02-26T10:39:23.357-06:00

Yeah, that's right, my man Marty took home the little bald statue for his outstanding work as a director in The Departed. Anybody got a problem with that? No, I didn't think so. Actually, even the other directors who were nominated didn't seem to have a problem with it. That movie kicked ass, and Scorsese has been given the shaft for years.Bonus points go to whomever had Best Director presented

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-66967848197598168532007-02-24T19:49:00.000-06:002007-02-24T21:26:42.917-06:00

Damn it feels good to be a gangstaGetting voted into the White HouseEverything looking good to the people of the worldBut the Mafia family is my bossSo every now and then I owe a favor gettin' downLike lettin' a big drug shipment throughAnd send 'em to the poor communitiesSo we can bust you know whoThe Voters of the world keep supportin' meAnd I promise to take you very farOther leaders better

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-29173323472682545312007-02-24T00:26:00.000-06:002007-02-24T00:39:07.011-06:00

Here's something you need to know if you're living with very old people:They don't know that they're supposed to call 9-1-1 immediately in a medical emergency.I'm probably overgeneralizing. Maybe it's just MY grandparents, because they grew up as migrant farm workers with very little formal education. Maybe it's generational (no phones when they were kids, no 911 when they were raising kids),

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-75473406733426731402007-02-22T02:52:00.000-06:002007-02-22T03:18:57.981-06:00

At night I can't sleepI toss and turnCandlesticks in the darkVisions of bodies bein' burnedFour walls closin' in getting biggerI'm paranoid, sleepin' with my finger on the trigger--Mind Playing Tricks on Me, Geto BoysThat's right, it's nearly 3 AM and I can't sleep, thank you so much Excedrin Migraine with extra caffeine. However, since my paranoia is not nearly so bad as that of Scarface, Willie

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1894376635889923072007-02-19T21:24:00.000-06:002007-02-19T22:17:17.999-06:00

Did you ever wonder why any fish, shrimp, lobster, etc. that you eat is called seafood, but beef and pork are NOT called landfood? Nor are chicken, duck, goose, or turkey called skyfood?Obviously, you're saying, we don't need a term like "landfood" because it's already obvious where cows and pigs come from, and anyone ordering pork or beef just tells you what kind of meat they want. And why

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-7537295035508974912007-02-18T01:44:00.000-06:002007-02-18T01:52:17.398-06:00

The English language, especially where it concerns American expressions, always finds a way to throw me off just a little.If a male refers to someone as "my old man," he is talking about his father.If a woman refers to someone as "my old man," she is talking about her boyfriend or husband.If a man refers to someone as "my old lady," he means his girlfriend or wife.A woman never refers to anyone

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-66158909834619047282007-02-16T10:34:00.000-06:002007-02-16T10:40:03.938-06:00

You know what sucks? When you carefully type out a very long post, ruminating on a topic in detail, making a passionate argument for your case, and then the whole thing disappears when you click on the spell-check button.Kiss my butt, old version of Blogger.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1170997136951096082007-02-08T22:08:00.000-06:002007-02-16T10:42:27.433-06:00

Today I finally found a store that sells lavender plants (other than the Butterfly Center at the Museum of Natural Science). I was so excited, I bought eight pots.Now I just have to find room to plant them all. Oh, except for one pot, which goes to Grandma.I also found an unusual species of tomato called Mr. Stripey. I'm not sure what it'll taste like, but I hope I can grow it.When I told Bizarro

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1169508102635966932007-01-22T15:34:00.000-06:002007-01-22T17:21:42.770-06:00

Tim Allen needs to be a little more selective about the scripts he chooses. I realize that he's found a niche in "family friendly" movies. But dude, can't he pick scripts that are good?Patrick Stewart is sexy. Yeah, that's right, I said it! And every time he does voice work for animation, I get a little shiver.I do love the Harry Potter movies, but I have to say that the ending to Goblet of Fire

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1168919814615617422007-01-15T21:48:00.000-06:002007-01-15T21:56:54.633-06:00

Thank you, Dr. King. I am grateful for you, and all you did to make our country a better place.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1168729713367736062007-01-13T16:20:00.000-06:002007-01-13T17:13:51.513-06:00

Let me start by saying that I love the HP series. They're funny, they're moving, they are wonderful escapist entertainment. Great stuff. I'm not picking on the books, nor am I picking on the folks who dress up for Midnight Release parties. (Those people are having fun, and if I didn't have two little ones at home, I'd happily join them.)My comments today are concerning a specific section of the

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1167714727972616532007-01-01T22:40:00.000-06:002007-01-01T23:12:08.003-06:00

I hate making New Year's resolutions, for no other reason than calling my goals "New Year's Resolutions" make them all guaranteed to fail. Seriously, it's like giving them a holiday-inspired title is like permission to slack off. "Oh, who cares, it's just a New Year's resolution, nobody keeps those."So, my goals for the year 2007 are:Get on that treadmill three times a week. But first, I should

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1167598331809130492006-12-31T13:12:00.000-06:002006-12-31T19:19:43.083-06:00

I was reading one of those Myspace surveys, and the question was asked: What was the most memorable thing that happened to you in 2006?I realized that nothing actually happened to me that was all that memorable. Stuff happened to the people around me, and I got involved. Some of it was sad and/or drama-filled. But if I had to pick something that was about me and not a friend or relative, I'd say

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1167423170974869272006-12-29T13:25:00.000-06:002006-12-29T14:12:51.120-06:00

Strange, is it not, how a simple drive to the grocery store can recall the oddest memories.Some would say I have a long memory for the trivial, and to those people I would say "Remember that time you scratched my wrist with a stick AND hit my pelvic bone with your head while on the trampoline on the SAME DAY? Why yes, that was 10 years ago, but what's your point?"Today while driving a stretch of

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1165902369289804102006-12-11T23:30:00.000-06:002006-12-11T23:46:09.303-06:00

Chocolate Torte(recipe provided by a cooking show I can't remember the name of on PBS and BYUBroadcasting)In a pan, melt 1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips with 1/4 cup canola oil, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat.In small bowl, whisk 5 Omega-3 eggs. (No, seriously, get the Omega-3's. They have less cholesterol and sodium and more healthy stuff in them.)In a large bowl, combine 1 cup sugar,

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1165466591466814062006-12-06T21:54:00.000-06:002006-12-06T22:43:11.556-06:00

My daughter's love watching that old stop-motion movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I have to admit, it is pretty cute, and I'm glad they are still able to be impressed by something that didn't cost $80,000,000 to animate. That being said, the more I watch this movie, the more something about strikes me as wrong.Will someone please tell me what the hell is Santa's problem with "different?" The

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1165034661576005632006-12-01T21:50:00.000-06:002006-12-01T22:44:21.626-06:00

So there's this mall we love, my relative has got on good speaking terms with Santa and Mrs. Claus. (No, seriously, the wife was standing in the parking lot and introduced herself as MRS. CLAUS.) They're a popular Claus couple, and have been visiting this mall for years. They sometimes walk around the mall between picture sessions, talking to people and holding hands. *sigh* Love...Anyhoo, one

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1163101699263344402006-11-09T13:43:00.000-06:002006-11-09T13:48:19.280-06:00

Can you keep a secret?I am sick of Cub Scouts. I have my own problems right now, many of them, and I don't want to deal with a bunch of ungrateful little snots this month. I just can't make myself care.But I guess I will have to do it anyway.I seriously am ready to throw in the towel, though. It's not like these kids can't transfer to the dens at their schools.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1162618395571605112006-11-03T23:02:00.000-06:002006-11-03T23:33:15.596-06:00

Approximately 10:45 PMLiving roomSounds of idle tapping on keyboard, mouseclicks, and kids DVD.Gina and Sleepless Mama are in living room. Sia is asleep in her bedroom.Sound: quietish "pop" originating from up the block. Suddenly three louder consecutive "POPs" from directly in front of our houseMe: Get down! (Grab Gina and pull her to the floor)Gina: Mommy? What is it?Me: It's a gun, baby. Stay

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1162405395082496582006-11-01T11:43:00.000-06:002006-11-01T12:23:15.190-06:00

"Honeeeeeeeey, I want a kittyyyyyyyy.""We said no more cats after the last two turned aggressive towards our children."*sigh* "I know.""Honey, I think I'd like a pet.""Uh-huh.""What would you think about a hamster or something?""Sure, that would be okay.""Look Honey, I got this at Half Price Books. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Choosing a Pet. Let's see what it says.""What does it say about

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1162159032177255912006-10-29T15:49:00.000-06:002006-10-29T15:57:12.253-06:00

So, are you watching your caloric intake? Making every attempt to ban fatty foods and nourish yourself only with healthy meals?Me neither.I give you the latest innovation in state fair food: Fried Coke! Remember, it's a Texas Food! Yet another claim to fame for my prideful state. (Really, we DO all ride horses to school, and there really ARE Longhorn cattle grazing within fifteen minutes of

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1161749560952396172006-10-24T23:07:00.000-05:002006-10-24T23:12:40.970-05:00

Dear Mom,I'm so sorry that, when I was a kid, I made rude comments about the yellow squash slices you were cooking for dinner. Squash wasn't my thing, but I still should not have been so mean about it. In retrospect, they actually looked like little suns bursting.I did like the zucchini boats you made when I got older. Those were awesome. Sadly, I have never been able to duplicate this recipe.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1161491130042090842006-10-21T23:20:00.000-05:002006-10-21T23:25:30.056-05:00

I printed one of the postcards I saw on Post Secret and wish to keep it for one reason: it looks like my ex's handwriting. Okay, two reasons: it looks like the person who wrote it is unhappy, and if it IS my ex, this cheers me up. It means he's not leading such a perfect life without me after all.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1160535810282619932006-10-10T18:07:00.000-05:002006-10-10T22:03:30.373-05:00

So, did you hear the one about the parent who tried to ban the book about book-banning, DURING Banned Book Week?No, I'm not telling a stupid joke. It really happened, and not fifty miles away from my own school district. The book in question is Fahrenheit 451, written over fifty years ago, and still a part of public school reading lists. (No, I never read it, because it wasn't part of my school's

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1160370482846212032006-10-09T00:06:00.000-05:002006-10-09T09:45:36.693-05:00

My weekendHouse full of in-laws, including brother-in-law's delightful wife from California in town for a visit: check.Eight people for one bathroom: check.Rapidly vanishing towels: check.Sheryl Crow concert, complete with chuckleheads sitting behind me who won't shut up and let me enjoy the show (for which everyone there paid $30 a pop) because they HAVE to make their opinions known as loudly as

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1160017856193650202006-10-04T21:59:00.000-05:002006-10-04T22:10:56.216-05:00

This evening my little girls learned a new game. It's called Bonzai.The rules are simple, really. I lie down on my bed, stomach down. The children take turns standing on my back. As they jump off me like the five-foot spring board I am and onto our super-bouncy bed, they yell, "BONZAIIIIIIIIIII!"That's it. That's the game. Over and over again. I am quite sure my back will be several shades of

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1159831126952281522006-10-02T17:23:00.000-05:002006-10-02T18:18:47.036-05:00

This Friday I'm turning...24...again...and my dad scored some concert tickets for me. So while all three of you will be doing your regular Friday Night thing (America's Funniest Videos? Getting drunk and hitting on the barstool next to you? Wild monkey love?), I'll be out watching her:(That's Sheryl Crow, if the object is not working.)Thank you, Daddy!

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1159536430154439442006-09-29T08:22:00.000-05:002006-09-29T08:27:10.173-05:00

An intimate look into the family routine.So yesterday morning the girls and I are all snuggled up in my bed, mostly asleep, but at that point where you can sort of hear what's going on around you. (Yeah, we're like cats that way.) I hear the 2-year-old sit up next to me, so I open my eyes. There's a naked husband standing over me, wearing his towel like a kilt.I close my eyes. It is just way too

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1159422765620096932006-09-28T00:17:00.001-05:002006-09-28T21:58:07.163-05:00

You know what sucks? When the neighborhood kids can't walk to school (or even to their bus stop) on the sidewalk, because the sidewalk is completely covered in overgrowth from the vacant lot it sits in front of. Instead, they have to walk IN THE STREET (even the ditch and roadside are overgrown with vegetation) on what can be a very busy street, with plenty of 18-wheelers and

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1159306084529650602006-09-26T14:51:00.000-05:002006-09-26T16:28:04.750-05:00

I realized today that I have in fact been ignoring the gift-shopping needs of good folks in various other countries, and so I submit for your consideration the following unique gift ideas from (and for) around the globe. Or at least Canada and the UK.Ye Olde Roadster BicyclesAvailable in the UK from the India Rubber Company, these old-fashioned bikes are newly made, complete with chrome

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158957820024664672006-09-22T13:38:00.000-05:002006-09-22T15:51:46.903-05:00

In search of the perfect gift for Christmas/Chanukkah/Festivus? Here are some interesting toys for girls and boys (and adults whose toys just got bigger over time). Have fun, and remember to spend your money wisely!Pedal CarsThis company offers wagons, bikes, sleds, and oh yeah, GIANT PEDAL CARS! You must see it to believe it. Shipping is FREE if you opt for standard ground service.Play Wonder

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158813243967162222006-09-20T23:21:00.000-05:002006-09-20T23:34:03.986-05:00

I do love PostSecret, but as I've explained before, I don't necessarily feel I should mail all my burdens to that poor man in Germantown. So here's my secret:I told you I ate the last of those McDonald's Breakfast Burritos that were in the fridge because I knew you were pissed off that nobody was eating them.I lied.I fed them to the dog because they were so nasty.She didn't want them, either.I'm

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158779415859959472006-09-20T14:05:00.000-05:002006-09-20T18:33:49.973-05:00

Remember that story about the lady who sued McDonald's because of the hot coffee spilled on her lap? Admit it, you made cracks about it too. I think it would be good if you read this. Bet you won't make fun anymore.Funny how quickly our perspectives can change.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158609118516992202006-09-18T12:23:00.000-05:002006-09-18T14:51:58.646-05:00

Today, Cowboy has an excellent post about Rehoboam, a king of Israel whose story appears in the old Testament.Not to be outdone, I submit to you one of MY favorite Old Testament stories. It's found in Judges, chapter 4, and then again (in song form) in chapter 5. It is the story of Sisera, a Canaanite captain who oppressed the Israelites for 20 years; Deborah, a prophetess; Barak, an Israelite

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158105450571537372006-09-12T18:55:00.000-05:002006-09-12T18:57:30.603-05:00

Dude, this is all kinds of messed up.A toast: to wedded bliss. *clink*

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1158027857699416622006-09-11T21:23:00.000-05:002006-09-11T21:24:17.723-05:00

I have not forgotten you.

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1157729932473483822006-09-08T10:16:00.000-05:002006-09-08T10:38:52.573-05:00

Dear In-laws,I do not care about your family drama. Stop involving us.Little sis-in-law, I love you, but that does not mean you are allowed to be rude to me and give me attitude in my own house. Next time, your brother won't just hold your legs to keep you from running away, he'll SIT ON YOU.Brother-in-law, move out. You were supposed to be here a week or two, then a month or two. That was back

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1157475065735863072006-09-05T11:38:00.000-05:002006-09-05T11:51:05.766-05:00

Gina: What happened to your cake you cooking? Where's you cake?Me: I didn't make a cake, baby. I made mashed potatoes.Gina: Oh.Me: Do you like mashed potatoes?Gina: No.Me: That's okay. Maybe I'll make you some potato patties later.Gina: No! I don't like tato pa-patties!Me: Potato patties?Gina: I don't like tato pa-pattie-toes...tato... I don't like them!Grandma's Potato Pattie Recipe:mashed

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1156545541470772552006-08-25T16:53:00.000-05:002006-08-25T17:39:01.566-05:00

Seriously, people. Have you heard about this? Paramount has just up and decided not to renew their contract with Tom Cruise, or rather his production company Cruise/Wagner (C/W), on the grounds that Tom's personal conduct is...unbecoming? Unacceptable. Something like that. Actually, the man who makes such decisions (Sumner Redstone of Viacom) said Tom "effectuates creative suicide and costs the

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1155850910957639862006-08-17T15:27:00.000-05:002006-08-18T13:00:42.553-05:00

Which is better to do first: read the book, or watch the movie?This is the downright dumbest excuse for a fundamental question I've ever had, but here it is. I want to know what you think is better.Everyone knows by now that if you read the book first, you'll spend the majority of the movie thinking to yourself (or shouting out loud, if you're the type), "Dude, that's not what's supposed to

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15256913.post-1155588553491683072006-08-14T15:41:00.000-05:002006-08-14T15:49:13.510-05:00

You know you're still in love when, after years together, you can still make each other laugh and smile with just a look, or an old joke, or when one of you does an imitation of the other and doesn't give the least bit of offense in doing so.My dear husband, I treasure you. Thanks for making me laugh while helping me with the dishes. Those are the moments that get me through the week. And by the

Sleepless Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516545423925788917noreply@blogger.com1