"Guns don't kill people" my ass

I don't know what the damn deal is with all these trigger-happy turd brains in this country, but I've had just about enough.

I refer you to the crazy shit that happened at NASA today. You may get confused by the poorly written article, so in a nutshell: Bill Phillips a contractor with Jacobs Engineering who worked at Johnson Space Center, went nuts today and took some people hostage in Building 44. He killed one of the hostages at about 2:oo PM and himself at around 5:00. I don't know what he expected to accomplish in the three hours in between, but whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't worth killing an innocent man.

What really pisses me off is that I just took my whole freaking family to NASA four days ago. Yeah, that's right. And here I was all disappointed that we didn't see any actual astronauts or engineers on the tour because it was a weekend and most of the NASA employees were at home. Thank heaven we went on a day when Mr. A Gun Solves Everything was at home, stroking his piece.

What the hell is wrong with the people in this country? Have we really fallen so far from a civilized way of life that everybody thinks the best revenge for any ill is to take firearms to school or work and make like it's an X-Box game? What's the matter, did someone call you a nerd or a loser or a cracker? Dude, get the fuck OVER it. People call each other names. It's hurtful and it sucks, but it is not a good reason to break out the duct tape and pistol.

You know, our country has spent all this time and energy trying to keep foreign terrorists out and invade countries that might produce more terrorists, and all the while we're breeding new terrorists right here at home. It's enough to make me want to move to Canada. Over there, you can't even point a FAKE gun at someone without getting a dozen Mounties on your ass. But here? Nobody's safe from harm, not the college students, not the astronauts, not even the Amish.

God, what a punk bitch.

Introducing a new feature: Letters

Dear Virginia Tech,

I am horrified by what happened at your campus, and there is nothing I can say that will make any of the victims' families and friends feel any better. My prayers go out to them all.

That being said, I have a bone to pick with you.

GET A FUCKING INTERCOM SYSTEM.

Yeah, I get it, you thought the shooter had run away, and didn't realize he stuck around to shoot more people. You thought the danger was over. But I'm sorry to say that your assumptions are not a good enough guarantee of safety. People could have attempted to find a safe place to stay if they'd only KNOWN what was going on.

Seriously, you need to get some kind of system going on in your school, whether it's in-room emergency phones or a P.A. system, that alerts people when an emergency is occurring.

It's not just you, I know. Most colleges don't have a system like that in place, I'm afraid. Classrooms are spread out among many buildings, not contained in a single building as are most high schools. And it's not like the students are tuned in to the Emergency Broadcast System in the middle of a lecture.

But you have a chance, here and now, to be an example for the rest of the country. Get a warning system installed. Test it once a semester, just like you do with fire alarms (I know you have those fire drills, because I had to endure those once a semester in my day.) Do it. Do something. Anything is better than keeping your current system in place, which is to warn people by E-MAIL.

And I thought Columbine was the worst that could happen...

My daughters have betrayed me

My life as I know it is over.

I suppose it was only a matter of time, really. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

I blame myself.

I should never have got cable.

That's right, I am now facing the $64,000 question:

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

That's right.

Me.

Thanks a lot, girls.

And you too, Time Warner.

Reflections on an idle Thursday

You know what's sad? When your someone in your family wishes you'd get a divorce because they hate your spouse AND think the relationship is crap. And one of them secretly tells your ex.

You know what's funny? Being the ex. Because even though it is so wrong to laugh at the misfortunes of others, it is situationally hilarious when the one who was dumped for a specific flaw is replaced by a person who turns out to have that flaw in spades.

However, one must remember that none of us are better than any other. We are all equally flawed in different ways. The wife, for example, is probably super-organized and keeps a spotless house; the ex-girlfriend, meanwhile, is a terrible housekeeper and subject to mood swings, but at least she's sensible enough not to travel to a foreign country and have plastic surgery against her parents' AND husband's wishes (especially since it would be the husband who's paying for it, most likely out of the money he was saving for tuition).

How's the new honker working out for ya, hon? Let's hope the surgeons in that impoverished country kept very clean instruments. Also, get a modeling job once the bruising is gone, because I have a feeling you'll be needing the money.

Conservative hate

Will somebody please tell me why the hell conservative politicians still associate themselves with Ann Coulter?

In case you didn't click on that link, Coulter went before the Conservative Political Action Conference and, in a piddling attempt at a joke, called Presidential hopeful John Edwards a faggot. And got a slow but building laugh.

I know liberals tend to call far-right conservatives a bunch of hate mongers and imbeciles. Normally I would say it's wrong to label an entire group of people in such a way, but I think we can safely say the above statement is true of the CPAC at the very least.

I'm pretty sure many of the audience members were people who identify themselves as Christians. Where were their Christian consciences telling them that Jesus doesn't like it when you call people names? Particularly a peaceful man whose wife has battled breast cancer? Heck, where was their BASIC HUMAN DECENCY?!

Yeah, I suppose I should be more outraged at Ann Coulter, but as I said elsewhere, this kind of moronic attempt at a joke is something I expect from the woman who went on the air and said that the United States allows Canada to be our neighbor.

Instead, I find myself appalled that no person in that audience booed the woman down, or went on record calling for her to apologize, or yelled at her that she's a horsey, man-faced bitch, or called her a Godless whore, or anything like that. (Yeah, I know. Jesus doesn't like it when you call people names. Clearly the audience didn't have a problem with name-calling in general, or there wouldn't have been any applause at all. If they're going to support name-calling, they can call someone who acts like a bitch a bitch.)

I'd also like to know how calling a man a faggot constitutes political action. Rednecks who couldn't pass eighth grade might be impressed by the political connotations, but I fail to see why elected officials with degrees find that kind of thing helpful to their cause. Do you see, Conservative Politicians? Ann Coulter's idiotic remarks and, more importantly, YOUR REACTION TO HER are the reasons why liberals and even moderates think you're a bunch of inbred hillbilly morons. Of course, Ann Coulter wouldn't have told that "joke" if she weren't counting on exactly the reaction she got. So even Ann Coulter thinks you're all inbred hillbilly morons.

You should feel insulted, but not by me.

Psst...c'mere

At testimony meetings, you hear people say how they missed church, how there was a hole in their lives, etc., and how happy they are now they've come back.

I haven't been to church in about two months.

And I don't miss it.

Not yet, anyway.

Insomniac Movie Review: Zoom (or ZOOM!)

Title: Zoom: Academy for Heroes
MPAA Rating: PG, for brief rude humor, language and mild action (Remember, G movies don't have action)

Cast: Tim Allen (you should know by now how I feel about him), Rip Torn (he's just there for a paycheck), Chevy Chase (ditto paycheck), Spencer Breslin (that overweight boy who's in too many movies, like the male Dakota Fanning, and in fact was in Cat in the Hat WITH Dakota Fanning), Courtney Cox (seriously, she should have known better)
Director: Peter Hewitt (director of Garfield: The Movie and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey; what an ass)

The Plot: Do you care? Really? It's another movie in which Tim Allen has to prevent some crisis and learns to value family along the way. The only thing that's different this time is that there isn't so much Santa Clause make-up, he doesn't have to pretend to be some form of canine, and Breslin's not playing an elf. Oh, fine. Tim Allen has to train a bunch of kids to use their superhero powers and save our planet from "imminent destruction." You know, these movies would probably be much more watchable if the imminent destruction was ever something that is actually threatening our planet, like pollution or global war... Naaaah.

My opinion (as if you couldn't tell): The adults are all here for a paycheck, and to make sure their SAG union benefits don't get taken away. Well, Courtney Cox might also be here because she wanted to work on a project her child might actually be allowed to watch. The kids are all here so they can have some credits to their name besides "shampoo commercial." Really, three of the four kids have great hair.

I have to say, Tim Allen (playing Jack Shepard, "Captain Zoom") was really phoning it in this time. It seems even he has realized the idiocy of his career direction, and just doesn't care to make any further attempt at believable delivery of his lines. In fact, I wasn't 100% sure he wasn't reading from a cue card. Rip Torn was boring, but maybe he only seems that way because I recall his performance in Dodgeball, and long for my children to go to sleep so I can watch THAT movie instead. Chevy Chase needed to just go home. Only Courtney Cox seemed to care about making me believe her character (the comic book thing was kind of funny).

The thing that really bugged me, though, is when the youngest child, a very cute little girl, had a nightmare and went to sleep in Zoom's room with him. I know, this movie is supposed to be about becoming a family, but the thing is, it's not appropriate for a child to sleep in the bed of a man who is not her father. And I don't get why nobody SAID as much. I realize the film is trying to sell you on the he's-a-surrogate-dad concept, but I'm not buying that any more than I'm buying Chevy Chase as an idiot-genius or any of the other ridiculous crap that requires suspension of not only disbelief, but all common sense.

My five-year-old didn't like it, although it may have some appeal to a ten-year-old. Lie to your kids and tell them the video store is out of this movie right now. Save your money for something more believable, like Wallace and Grommit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Take the Banned Book Challenge

Pelham Library is issuing a Banned Book Challenge to all. Simply put, commit to read a certain number of books between February 26 (yesterday) and June 30, 2007. For clarification, Pelham Library does not ban books, but has provided a list of books that have been banned in other places. You are free to choose any books that have been banned anywhere, whether listed or not.

This is a healthy thing for our minds. Let's all meet the challenge. I'm personally committing to 20 books. Look for reports in the months to come!

Scorsese gets his due

Yeah, that's right, my man Marty took home the little bald statue for his outstanding work as a director in The Departed. Anybody got a problem with that? No, I didn't think so. Actually, even the other directors who were nominated didn't seem to have a problem with it. That movie kicked ass, and Scorsese has been given the shaft for years.

Bonus points go to whomever had Best Director presented by Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas. Obviously they did it because they knew Scorsese would win, but I also enjoyed the little moment in which George Lucas pointed out that he was the only guy up there who hadn't won an Oscar for Best Director. Yeah, that's because your movies suck now, George. Also, because you can't move on beyond the Star Wars saga. And you just keep selling differently tweaked versions of the same movies over and over and over, which you've been doing for at least twenty years.

I seem to remember that last year, the Oscars had a newish category, Best Comedy or Musical. What happened to that? Oh, wait, that was the Golden Globes. How exactly do comedies and musicals get lumped into the same category? Do we just laugh at musicals because they're unnatural? I nominate Godspell for a posthumous Golden Globe. You have to love Young Jack Bristow as the Jesus Clown.

In case any of you are trying to e-mail me, Yahoo Mail is giving me a problem today. So if you don't get a reply, it's not because I don't love you.

"And now, a word from the president"

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Getting voted into the White House
Everything looking good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin' down
Like lettin' a big drug shipment through
And send 'em to the poor communities
So we can bust you know who
The Voters of the world keep supportin' me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I'll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans that helped me win
I'd sincerely like to thank ya
'Cause now I got the world swinging from my nuts
And Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

--Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta, Geto Boys,

This song was first popular when I was in junior high, maybe high school. I remember my cousins and I thought of the last verse as the comments that a black man from the ghetto might make if he were elected president. (Oh hush, there were lots of songs to that effect back then, including one that suggested painting the White House black.)

What we didn't understand, what I just didn't think about until today, is that those lyrics were meant to describe President Bush Sr. In fact, I'd say they do a superior job of describing President Bush Jr.

America's government is supposed to be a system of checks and balances. In theory, Congress is supposed to represent the Will of the People. The president can't just declare war of his own accord; Congress has to vote on it. And Congress did indeed vote to approve the US invasion of Iraq.

But why haven't they voted to pull our troops out?

I know it was right to hunt down Saddam Hussein; the man was deliberately hurting his own people. But what good are we doing there now? The Iraqi people don't want us there anymore. And, try as he might, Bush can't just install democracy somewhere.

The American people are calling for Bush to bring our boys home. Even the Republican citizens are getting sick of this crap. With so many constituents screaming to bring the troops home, why isn't Congress doing it? Does the will of the people not actually mean anything?

(I think we know the answer to that. The will of the people only means something at election time.)

I'm probably oversimplifying this. Obama and H. Clinton are duking it out right now over who has the better plan to withdraw troops. How much do you want to bet that when it comes to a vote, it's split along party lines, rather than based on what the constituents have asked for?

In the meantime, President Bush is planning to recall 40,000 troops back to active duty. I'm talking about people who already served four or five years of active duty and have returned to civilian life. Yes, it's true, that's part of the contract when you swear in: the committment to return to active duty if it becomes necessary. But please, explain to me, why is it necessary?

Who does our President answer to? He's not answering to me or my congresswoman. He's just doing what he wants, sending our people to die for someone else's country. All the hell he raised about the U.N. not forcing Hussein to answer for his actions, but is Bush being made to answer for his own? The world really is hanging from his nuts.

In Case of Emergency

Here's something you need to know if you're living with very old people:

They don't know that they're supposed to call 9-1-1 immediately in a medical emergency.

I'm probably overgeneralizing. Maybe it's just MY grandparents, because they grew up as migrant farm workers with very little formal education. Maybe it's generational (no phones when they were kids, no 911 when they were raising kids), maybe it's because when they were young only rich people could call medics to come to the house, maybe it's just that they're senile.

Just please, explain this to them, and not just once in a while, I mean weekly: if there's a medical emergency, call 911 immediately. Don't try and revive the person yourself, don't wait a while and see if he gets better, don't half-assedly attempt to wake up someone else in the house, don't call the neighbors or the relatives and ask THEM to call an ambulance. Grandma, if something is wrong, don't wait. Call 911, and do it fast.

Grandpa will never be the same. His arm is dead, his leg is partly paralyzed, his face is stuck, he falls asleep for fifteen minutes and thinks a whole day has passed.

Late night with Chef Sleepless

At night I can't sleep
I toss and turn
Candlesticks in the dark
Visions of bodies bein' burned
Four walls closin' in getting bigger
I'm paranoid, sleepin' with my finger on the trigger

--Mind Playing Tricks on Me, Geto Boys

That's right, it's nearly 3 AM and I can't sleep, thank you so much Excedrin Migraine with extra caffeine. However, since my paranoia is not nearly so bad as that of Scarface, Willie D, or Bushwick Bill, I don't actually have a gun in my hand right now. Which is fortunate, because how else would I be able to type for you? My two readers get a post.

Today, folks, you get a recipe. Since the weather is warming up (in my part of the country, anyway), here's a dish that's easy to make, requires no oven use, and tastes good served cold.

Tuna and White Bean Salad
(Stay with me, this really is good.)

Drain 2 cans of tuna packed in water. Drain and rinse one 14 oz. can white kidney beans (also called cannellini or alubias) and 2 tbsp. capers; add these to tuna. Core and dice 4 Roma tomatoes (a.k.a. pear tomatoes) and add to tuna. Add 2 minced cloves of garlic and 1/2 cup lemon juice. Drizzle with 2-3 tbsp. olive oil. Add 1 cup roughly chopped parsley or cilantro. Season with salt and pepper. Toss. Serve on toasted bread OR serve on green salad OR toss with cold pasta.

Yeah, I know, there are lots of sour ingredients. Look at it as an incentive to drink more water, which you need to do anyway in this heat.

(Seriously, that Excedrin killed my headache within ten minutes. But I'm UP.)

Where's the beef (from)?

Did you ever wonder why any fish, shrimp, lobster, etc. that you eat is called seafood, but beef and pork are NOT called landfood? Nor are chicken, duck, goose, or turkey called skyfood?

Obviously, you're saying, we don't need a term like "landfood" because it's already obvious where cows and pigs come from, and anyone ordering pork or beef just tells you what kind of meat they want. And why should we say "skyfood" when fowl and white meat are already acceptable dining terms?

Okay, I'm with you on the skyfood-is-fowl thing, even though ostrich meat is served in steaks. But why should landfood not be put to use? Sure, we could just say "red meat," but the Council for the Promotion of Pork (or whoever) is doing all they can to convince us that pork is The Other White Meat (even though it's not). I like to know where my meat comes from.

You're crazy. Landfood is unnecessary. If you want steak, you go to a steakhouse, not a "landfood restaurant." Landfood could mean anything from venison to veal.

So by that logic, restaurants should specialize in types of seafood. This one serves only fish, that one serves only squid, the other serves only shellfish...

No! No! No! No restaurant could be THAT specialized and still stay in business. Just like steakhouses serve chicken, seafood restaurants serve all kinds of animals from the sea.

Yeah, about that. How exactly do fish caught in lakes and rivers qualify as "sea" food?

Because they're fish!

But not from the sea. They're not even from a salt-water bog. They come from fresh water.

But they're fish. Maybe it's a misnomer in some cases, but seafood is just a general term for fish and shrimp and other animals that come from the water.

So how do we classify alligator meat? It's born on land, but spends a significant amount of time in the water. It has four legs, but it swims.

That can be called red meat.

But that isn't a description of where it comes from. Besides, it's not red, really. Every time I order it, it looks white, and it tastes like fowl. Even if pork looks like white meat but isn't, it still doesn't TASTE like white meat.

Fine! It's white meat!

But do we order it at a seafood restaurant, or a landfood restaurant (excuse me, I mean "steakhouse").

We order it at... um... Cajun restaurants!

First of all, Cajuns aren't the only ones who serve alligator. I used to buy my gator meat served in a gyro (which is Greek). Second, Cajun is a distinction of PEOPLE and their CHOSEN METHOD OF FOOD PREPARATION. It is not a classification of animal type or it's natural habitat.

Fine. It's swampfood. Are you happy?

So does that mean crawfish are swampfood instead of seafood?

What?!

I'm just saying, why can gators be swampfood but cows can't be landfood?

@#%$!!

Who's your old man?

The English language, especially where it concerns American expressions, always finds a way to throw me off just a little.

If a male refers to someone as "my old man," he is talking about his father.

If a woman refers to someone as "my old man," she is talking about her boyfriend or husband.

If a man refers to someone as "my old lady," he means his girlfriend or wife.

A woman never refers to anyone as "my old lady," or at least no straight women do that I know of. I wonder if a lesbian says it, does she mean her girlfriend or her mother?

Why I've finally switched to the new version

You know what sucks? When you carefully type out a very long post, ruminating on a topic in detail, making a passionate argument for your case, and then the whole thing disappears when you click on the spell-check button.

Kiss my butt, old version of Blogger.

New Growth

Today I finally found a store that sells lavender plants (other than the Butterfly Center at the Museum of Natural Science). I was so excited, I bought eight pots.

Now I just have to find room to plant them all. Oh, except for one pot, which goes to Grandma.

I also found an unusual species of tomato called Mr. Stripey. I'm not sure what it'll taste like, but I hope I can grow it.

When I told Bizarro Dad about what I bought, he said, "Is it planting time already?" When I assured him that it was, he said something about cold weather. "But honey," I said, "you turned on the air conditioner today."

Yes, that's right, spring is in the air. The birds are chirping, the leaves are slowly budding on the trees, and the breeze from my air conditioner signals the start of growing season.

Random movie opinions

• Tim Allen needs to be a little more selective about the scripts he chooses. I realize that he's found a niche in "family friendly" movies. But dude, can't he pick scripts that are good?
• Patrick Stewart is sexy. Yeah, that's right, I said it! And every time he does voice work for animation, I get a little shiver.
• I do love the Harry Potter movies, but I have to say that the ending to Goblet of Fire was disappointing. Why? Because they try to end on a high note, with Harry all smiley and joking around with Ron and Hermione. No. Not the proper tone. It makes no sense because 1) Harry was all depressed about Cedric Diggory dying and full of self-blame, so don't tell me he recovered that fast, 2) how are we supposed to believe that he was all happy at the end of Year 4 and suddenly teen angsty at the beginning of Year 5?, and 3) there are not really any political overtones, which would properly set the stage for 5.
• Jennifer Garner's new movie, Catch and Release, is out this month. Kevin Smith is in it, prompting me to wonder how Kevin Smith is always involved in projects with Ben Affleck and/or his significant others. Then again, that's what friends are for. In any case, I'm glad Jennifer Garner is working again. She's got talent, that's for sure, and I hope to see her in many more projects that showcase her range.
• Speaking of Catch and Release, this movie is promoting itself with the phrase "From the writer of Erin Brockovich." It's a trend now to promote your movie by bragging that it was made or written by the same people who worked on other movies that did well. I find this disturbing. Seriously, am I supposed to be more impressed that a romantic comedy was penned by the screenwriter who adapted a true story (a drama at that)? I remember when Princess Diaries was first released, and the big promo was "from the director of Pretty Woman." Yeah, I know, it was the legendary Gary Marshall, and it was a G movie, but please explain to me how invoking a movie about a prostitute was supposed to make parents want to take their twelve-year-old daughters? I suppose it pays off if it gets more butts in the seats. But I sincerely doubt Date Movie is any funnier just because I know it's from two of the six writers of Scary Movie; for all I know, those are the two writers who wrote the penis-in-the-ear joke, and that just wasn't funny.

Happy Birthday Dr. King

Thank you, Dr. King.

I am grateful for you, and all you did to make our country a better place.

Harry Potter and the Over-Zealous Nerdy Fans

Let me start by saying that I love the HP series. They're funny, they're moving, they are wonderful escapist entertainment. Great stuff. I'm not picking on the books, nor am I picking on the folks who dress up for Midnight Release parties. (Those people are having fun, and if I didn't have two little ones at home, I'd happily join them.)

My comments today are concerning a specific section of the popular HP fansite, mugglenet.com. This site overall is laid out nicely, with sections on the books, the movies, the actors, the author, etc. Again, great stuff. But there's one thing that's driving me mad: the Theories.

I like to amuse myself with theories about random things, and I don't see anything wrong with the practice of forming theories about a book that has sparked so much discussion. But when I try to read theories for Harry Potter 7, oh boy, do I get a wicked migraine.

Go in there and read ONE theory about whether or not Harry Potter is himself a Horcrux. The theory is developed by making assumptions, or by attempting to disprove someone else's assumptions (with, you guessed it, other assumptions). They talk and talk and talk in circles, until I'm so confused that I don't remember whether I was reading a proof or a disproof. (I know disproof is not a word, but you get what I mean.)

I know, I know, if it bothers me that much, I should just not read it. I don't read the theories very often, but sometimes I come across one I haven't read before, and the caption misleads me by saying "well-thought out." The problem is not that the writer hasn't thought out his/her argument; the problem is that the idea has been overthought and written in such a way that I almost can't bring myself to finish the article. After so many paragraphs (long ones), I finally have to exit the page or pop an Excedrin. Always, I leave the articles convinced that what's really going on here is "mental masturbation" (a term coined by my sociology prof) moreso than intelligent discussion.

Then again, I can't say I haven't been guilty of the same thing in the past. Y'all are lucky you didn't see my Alias days, back when the show was in it's prime and I had only one kid who took three naps a day. I was spitting out theories (or rebuttals to other people's theories) left and right. But at least we got a new episode to dissect once a week. Rowling is letting, oh, two years go by between HP books, sometimes more. All the fans get in the meantime are occasional Q and A sessions with the author, or an update to the Rumors section on Rowling's site. I almost can't blame the Theorists for concocting such long-winded essays.

Almost. People, READ OTHER BOOKS! Rowling's not the only fantasy writer out there. Hell, fantasy isn't the only genre out there. There's military fiction, sci-fi, romance, mystery, comedy, true crime, chick-lit, historical fiction, and an endless array of nonfiction categories. If you can imagine it, somebody probably wrote about it. Why not read some of those instead of just dwelling on the last, unfinished book of one series? Better yet, write your OWN stories instead of just writing about someone else's stories. This isn't a lit. class, where you have to hand in a complicated paper explaining what you think about someone else's work.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check the Excedrin supply. I think I just gave myself another headache.

2007, Here I Come

I hate making New Year's resolutions, for no other reason than calling my goals "New Year's Resolutions" make them all guaranteed to fail. Seriously, it's like giving them a holiday-inspired title is like permission to slack off. "Oh, who cares, it's just a New Year's resolution, nobody keeps those."

So, my goals for the year 2007 are:

1. Get on that treadmill three times a week. But first, I should plug it in.
2. Spend more time playing with and teaching the kids and less time doing my own thing while they watch the same movie four times in a row.
3. Register my daughter for kindergarten EARLY, not at the last minute, so that she can be in Ms. C's class, just like her cousins on her father's side were.
4. Not let anyone else move into the house who I didn't give birth to. (Seriously, if one more sibling tries to slide in here...)
5. Enroll in college and see if I can work toward finishing my degree (if we have the money).
6. Attend my 10 Year high school reunion and NOT feel ashamed that I didn't do more with my life. Because really, I think I've done okay. You try making babies as pretty as mine and serving them HOMEMADE BABY FOOD.
7. Figure out my digital camera, including how to make it work with this dang computer.
8. Ease up on the swearing.
9. Make some baby blankets for some pregnant friends of mine. Preferably before they give birth.
10. Get us on track with the bills so my dad can buy a house and move out like he wants to and get married in his new house to his nice girlfriend. (I wonder if Gina will be a flower girl?)
11. Not be so mean. (Except when I'm yelling at the TV. That'll be my outlet.)
12. Take down the Christmas tree and other decorations before the end of January.