- Watching the kids while I go to Cub Scouts.
- Putting away clean dishes.
- Folding towels.
- Going grocery shopping for me so I could stay home and watch Alias. (Although, in retrospect, I think I should just go myself next time, so we don't have another $100 grocery bill.)
- Putting away the dinner leftovers.
- Picking up needed items on the way home from work, even though the traffic is murder.
- Changing diapers.
- Bringing me dinner in bed and some Tylenol when I had a migraine.
- Helping restore some order to the kitchen after the kids had a confetti-like battle with uncooked basmati (super-long-grain rice from the Middle East). He even had to get off the X-Box for this one!
He's not so bad, really. He just has to be asked to do something. I notice it also helps to give him a timeline. For example: "Make sure the food gets put away by 7:30, or it will go bad and I'll have to throw it away." If he's not playing a game or watching a movie, it's mostly not a big deal to get him to help me, unless the chore is dishes or yard work, in which case I have a better chance of finding a snowcone in hell. The biggest trouble is that he likes to play games and watch movies all the time.
Ew! What IS that stuff stuck to the kids' table? It's...watermelon juice? But why didn't he just...I mean, paper towels are RIGHT THERE. He left a dish towel ON THE DESK, not THREE FEET from the little table.
Okay, then, the second biggest trouble is that he won't clean up after himself or the kids, not even when there's food involved, unless I'm standing over him telling him to do so.
Calm, calm, breathe, not a big deal, not something that can't be taken care of quickly and easily, calm...
Are those his SOCKS!? On the living room FLOOR?! AGAIN!?!!!!!
Oh, who am I kidding. The socks look right at home next to all the other junk that the kids and hubby and brother-in-law have left all over the room.
And he did watch the kids for me last night. He did do that.
While playing his X-Box.
He's not an ass. He's not. Really.
He's just lazy.
Okay, name the movie the title-quote comes from. Bonus points for the actor/actress who said it (you can name the character if you don't remember the actor). Big thanks to cmhl for giving me the idea.