Halloween hasn't even arrived and I'm already planning Thanksgiving

Since my dear hubby, Bizarro Dad, usually works on Thursdays, and will probably have to go in on Thanksgiving Day, I've decided that perhaps we could have a small Thanksgiving the day before, which is his regular day off, and just have his family over. Then that leaves me free Thursday to make the rounds visiting my relatives. So far his sister doesn't mind the idea, but we have to see what his mom will say. Seeing as mom-in-law doesn't work outside the home, I don't see why she'd object, but still, I'm going to wait until she says yes before I rush out and buy a turkey.

In the meantime, I've found some very interesting recipes in my gi-normous Box-O'-Recipes from the good people at Easy to Bake, Easy to Make. There's this strange little pastry that's made from prepackaged breadstick dough, reshaped to look like a cornucopia, and stuffed with a mixture of cream cheese, cranberries, and apricot preserves (or, if you prefer, cream cheese, strawberries, and strawberry preserves). There's also this apple stuffing that looks neat, but instead of serving it on the plate, you serve it in a scooped-out, precooked, sliced-in-half acorn squash! It does look cute that way, but I want to know how I'm supposed to cook the squash. Do I bake it? Do I microwave it? Can I do it the night before so I'm not having to worry about cooking it at the same time as my turkey, yams, rolls, and cornucopias?

What about you? What are your Thanksgiving plans?

I'm such a ditz

For the last few weeks, my cordless phone has not been ringing loud enough to hear unless I was in the same room with it. This is strange, to be sure, as my ringer has only two volumn settings: on and off. For the last three days, we have not heard it ring at all, despite receiving many phone calls. Naturally we figured the ringer just died on us. Bizarro Dad bought a new phone today.

I just looked at the thing. The ringer is switched to off.

*that toddler*

Words I hate to hear spoken out loud

Farfignugen
Kotex*
Squirts*
Paisley
Cansonas (translation: underwear)*
Chi-chis (translation: boobs)*
Boobies (they're called BREASTS people, for the love of crap!)
Saliva
White Sox

*denotes word that is especially hated when it comes out of my mother's mouth

Yes, I am obsessed with Harry Potter, why do you ask?

For your viewing pleasure, the three headmasters of the Triwizard Tournament.

Harry Potter and the Pictures of Great Amusement

I blame you, cmhl, for being the one to finally explain how it is that one puts an image on a blog entry. Thank you for getting me addicted. *love*

And now, for your viewing pleasure:

I do so love this picture. Just think: what would happen if these kids (in character, I mean) actually did walk into Hogwarts dressed like this? They are already part of a dark culture, so to dress up as a Muggle's imitation of dark culture...what would everyone say? Would they be called Dark Wizards? Clowns? DARK WIZARD CLOWNS?

You know, I would totally be a Harry/Hermione "shipper" if the books had not made it blatantly obvious that Hermione and Ron were destined for each other. When you watch the movies, though, it is very clear that Emma Watson and Dan Radcliffe have some truly amazing chemistry together, and it does almost look like they could have something together. This must be why there is a strange interest (mostly among teenagers) in whether or not Emma and Dan are dating.


I have to tell you, this picture frightens and confuses me. Not because it's bad, oh no. It's because it is just so damn good! I know it is the job of the art department to make Dan Radcliffe (and hence, the movie) irresistable to teenage girls everywhere. But seriously, they did their job a little too well. Because I am totally crushing on this guy, despite the fact that I am much too old for him. Well, okay, I'm not that old, I'm not even in my thirties yet. But still. I'm too old to be having school-girl crushes, and I'm certainly too old for Daniel Radcliffe. This is me, being all scared. ...Then again, maybe it's not him I find attractive. Maybe it's just the leather wizard robes. Yes, that's it. I always did have a thing for leather jackets and trench coats.

Okay, I'm going to go crawl under a rock, now.

Google Image Biography

I swiped this from crouching mommy, hidden laundry because I have nothing better to do. Go to Google Images and put in the name of the town where you were born, the town you live in now, your name, the name of your grandmother, your favorite food, favorite smell, and favorite song. Then you post the images.

This is the city where I was born, and to which I have recently returned to live in once more. Ah, home. How I love thee, Houston.













This is the only image of my name I could find that wasn't a sleezy picture or a photograph of a woman who looks nothing like me.


















My grandmother's name. Interestingly, her mother named her Josephine, but when her father took her to the church to be baptized, he changed it to Eva. Grandma now hates the name Josephine.












Favorite food: this was actually a tough decision. Do I say Italian food? Chocolate cake? Pumpkin ice cream pie? Chocolate? No, no, if I have to pick out my favorite rare treat, I'm going with shrimp scampi.
















Favorite smell. This was another tough one. I nearly said roses, or that Vive Shampoo for men (which just does something for me). I could also have said "minced garlic and onions sauted in olive oil." But no, this has to be my favorite, by far. The smell of my children, freshly bathed and shampooed.














Favorite song: Riverwide by Sheryl Crow. This song was the theme-song for one of my most painful break-ups, and the inspiration for some Alias fanfiction I wrote a few years back.

Let's Go Astros LET'S GO!

Yeah, that's right. My beloved Astros are one game away from heading to the World Series. I fondly recall many games I attended during my elementary-school years. Ah, the cheering, the popcorn, the singing, the impersonating of the voice of the vendor who sold cold beer (much to my mother's dismay).

This was back when the 'Stros still played at the Astrodome. The Eighth Wonder of the World, they called it. Now the Astros play at Minute Maid Park, a new-fangled sort of stadium with a retractable roof (which the players don't want to retract right now). I've never been to this new venue. I only remember that when it was new, it was nick-named the Home Run Derby.

I haven't been to a baseball game in over a decade. (Oh crap, I think I just aged.) It's nothing against sports in general, or baseball. I just can't stand the seating in today's modern stadiums. Tiny little seatss, steep stairs, large crowds of strangers...no, not for me.

But I do love my home team. They put me in mind of childhood, school friends, cousins, and being encouraged to scream as loud as I liked. I wish you well, boys. Do me proud.

Out of the mouths of Latinos...

During our Hurricane Rita House Arrest, my mother-in-law told me about something she heard on a Spanish radio station. Apparently the DJs were reporting the mayor's call to stop with the evacuating already, the storm was too close. The DJs, after reading this, proclaimed: "Te chinga, nos vamos a Mexico." (F*** you, we're going to Mexico.) They then abandoned their post. Mom-in-law said you could hear them leaving, then it was just dead air. Nice to know the Hispanic community can count on the local Spanish radio announcers to continue broadcasting information.

Interestingly, the Spanish-language TV channels and radio stations are considered to be "the ones who tell you what's really going on" in this area. I don't know why, but for some reason the attitude of the local Mexicans is that the "white" TV stations hold back the truth. I've never really watched Univision's news broadcast, since I don't understand enough spoken Spanish to make sense of what's being said, so I couldn't tell you what channel 45 is saying that ABC is not. I just think it's funny that my grandmother thinks ABC, NBC, and CBS news all lie to her.

What? Me? Clean?

I know I need to clean the house. I do. But I don't wanna.

I'm in pain. My neck and back are killing me, and these two kiddos don't understand that and still insist on being carried, lifted, yanked away from the toilet, etc. Besides, it's Bizarro Dad's day off, so he can (and does) help take care of the little ones.

So, begging your pardon, I'm spending my time watching Chocolat and A Day Without Mexicans, thank you very much. Cleaning can wait, or maybe my brother can get off his keister and wash some dishes for a change.

I was STOOD UP!

But I'm not complaining, oh no. I was stood up by Hurricane Rita. (By the way, CMHL, thanks for caring.) Seriously, we got some wind, but as far as rain, it barely sprinkled. No, really. I've seen garden hoses with more force. We only lost power for about an hour on my block. Mom's block lost electricity for a couple of days. We didn't have any damage to the house, though a branch from the neighbor's tree fell into our back yard. My other neighbor's garage was shredded, but it was already partially destroyed from Tropical Storm Allison four years ago, so it was no big loss.

We did have some action around here, though. See, we may have stayed, but many of our neighbors evacuated. Some thieves tried to steal our neighbor's car. Friends of the neighbors saw the theft in progress, and started shooting at the thieves. Thieves shot back, blowing out the window of a very nice Cadillac. Here in the house, we heard nothing at all. Mom, Grandpa, and Uncle A, who were all across the street, saw the whole thing and called the cops.

I got the scoop from Mom, and relayed the info to my own household. My dad went all Jed Clampett, and pulled out this ancient shotgun (which I mistook for a rifle, it was so long) and started asking for extra shells. Fortunately Dad's shotgun takes the same rounds as our shiny Mossberg. Personally, I felt that he'd be better off just using his .380, rather than trying to use that old gun that hadn't been fired in over a decade. NRA bonanza notwithstanding, we didn't actually have to use any of our firepower. The revenge shootings occurred a few blocks away. We didn't here those either. Our air conditioners are really loud. Plus, we're all going deaf.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Bizarro Dad (my husband) said that when he went to the sporting goods store to buy ammo right before the storm, there were a whole lot of people doing the same thing. Nothing like a hurricane to bring out the Commando in all of us. But really, this IS Texas.

If you've ever seen that movie Miss Congeniality, recall that part wherein Sandra Bullock tackles a dude with a holstered gun right in the middle of Market Square in San Antonio. Candace Bergen reprimands her for taking this action for such a trivial reason. "This is Texas!" she says. "Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!" Well, that's really how it is sometimes. We all have guns, at least in this neighborhood. We don't all carry them around, but I suspect that's because not enough people want to spend the $90 to get the concealed handgun license. Well, that and criminal records.

Seriously, this state is just the wrong place for looting. If the citizens weren't shooting at you, the cops were arresting you. There were some punks who broke into a middle school to steal electronics. There was a middle school teacher who broke into fifteen houses to take heaven knows what. I mean, I know our state education funding is a mess, but dayum. The hospitals were not letting a lot of people in unless they were critical. That's how many people were getting stabbed and shot.

Well, we're all okay. The city is getting back to normal, although I wish I could say the same for the folk over in Beaumont. They took a severe beating. Please, if you haven't done so already, donate to https://give.redcross.org/ to continue helping those nice people.