Friday, August 31, 2007

12 Things That Mildly Suck

  1. Pimple in the ear canal
  2. All these idiotic shows about bounty hunters (which, by the way, cops make fun of, especially Dog the Bounty Hunter, which, who wouldn't? It's blatantly obvious that they're all hamming it up for the camera)
  3. A 500+ piece puzzle nearly completed with one piece missing from the box
  4. 35 minutes for lunch, 20 minutes of which are spent waiting in the lunch line
  5. Being hungry and having no idea what snack to fix
  6. Insects destroying the last of my summer crop, thus eliminating the kids' hopes for a "Giant Vegetable Competition"
  7. Screwing up a sudoku puzzle . . . in pen
  8. Bunk-ass rhymes get featured on CSI: Miami, when people with better flow go unnoticed
  9. A MOUSE!!!! EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!
  10. David Blaine and all the other Houdini wanna-bes (I'm looking at YOU, Criss Angel) who basically do nothing of use and get paid for it
  11. Five-year-old daughter has barely been at school a week, and already there's some boy poking her shoulder softly in the lunch line and pressing up against her in a weird little "I want to hug you but I can't so I'll just not use my arms" way
  12. Having to wait ten years before I can use the traditional threat of Mexican mothers: "Touch my daughter and I'll hang you by your balls in my front yard"

1 comment:

N said...

Point 9: Use the spring-loaded traps. Using the "humane" traps that catch them alive and well, so that you can release them in the wild (or your neighbor's yard) don't work; the mice don't go for it.

Point 12: Why wait? Think of it as "pre-emptive social training."