Psst...

Lately I've been keeping up with Post Secrets, and have in fact bought the full-color hardcover book. I read the whole book in one night. I could not stop soaking in all the secrets. I was sad for a while, looking at all the pains, but I must admit I was amused, too.

I've thought about what secrets I would like to send. We all have at least one secret, or so I imagine. What would I send to this man in Maryland whom I've never met? What would he think of my secret? What does he think of everyone else's?

Possible Responses to Various Secrets from Around the Globe

• Bor-ring
• I swear, if one more person tells me they pee in the shower...
• Ew, gross!
• Now that's just plain weird.
• Hmm. The secret is boring but the card sure is pretty.
• Why doesn't anyone ever send me a happy secret?
• Dude, she's your MOM!
• Okay, now this guy's just bragging.
• Oh yeah, I did that once, too.
• Heh, I'd do that in a heartbeat if I could avoid being caught.
• Just once, I'd like someone to send me a box of cookies.

I read an article about this and other "confession" projects. The creator of the Post Secrets community art project says that he is starting to feel the burden of so many secrets. I can see why, I think. It's just too much, all that suffering. And he gets a couple hundred post cards a DAY.

So, in honor of this confessional project, and so as to not burden this nice man with my secret, I will share my secret with you, my three readers (if all three of you are still there). This is not my only secret, but it's all you get.

This weekend the kids were unable to finish off their piñata and get the candy out, so I stepped up and beat that thing to oblivion.

I let everyone believe I was thinking about my husband, and how he did some random thing to piss me off. Even my husband believes it.

Actually, I was thinking about the same thing I always think about when I beat a rug or a piñata: my ex-boyfriend, and how much it hurt when he left me.

It happened years ago, but the wound is not gone. Not even a wonderful marriage has been able to fully heal me.

So I busted a paper mache animal, thinking about his face. It didn't heal me, but it sure gave me 90 seconds of satisfaction.

Have a great week, people. And don't forget, Alias is on today! Watch as the great ship sinks!