Conservative hate

Will somebody please tell me why the hell conservative politicians still associate themselves with Ann Coulter?

In case you didn't click on that link, Coulter went before the Conservative Political Action Conference and, in a piddling attempt at a joke, called Presidential hopeful John Edwards a faggot. And got a slow but building laugh.

I know liberals tend to call far-right conservatives a bunch of hate mongers and imbeciles. Normally I would say it's wrong to label an entire group of people in such a way, but I think we can safely say the above statement is true of the CPAC at the very least.

I'm pretty sure many of the audience members were people who identify themselves as Christians. Where were their Christian consciences telling them that Jesus doesn't like it when you call people names? Particularly a peaceful man whose wife has battled breast cancer? Heck, where was their BASIC HUMAN DECENCY?!

Yeah, I suppose I should be more outraged at Ann Coulter, but as I said elsewhere, this kind of moronic attempt at a joke is something I expect from the woman who went on the air and said that the United States allows Canada to be our neighbor.

Instead, I find myself appalled that no person in that audience booed the woman down, or went on record calling for her to apologize, or yelled at her that she's a horsey, man-faced bitch, or called her a Godless whore, or anything like that. (Yeah, I know. Jesus doesn't like it when you call people names. Clearly the audience didn't have a problem with name-calling in general, or there wouldn't have been any applause at all. If they're going to support name-calling, they can call someone who acts like a bitch a bitch.)

I'd also like to know how calling a man a faggot constitutes political action. Rednecks who couldn't pass eighth grade might be impressed by the political connotations, but I fail to see why elected officials with degrees find that kind of thing helpful to their cause. Do you see, Conservative Politicians? Ann Coulter's idiotic remarks and, more importantly, YOUR REACTION TO HER are the reasons why liberals and even moderates think you're a bunch of inbred hillbilly morons. Of course, Ann Coulter wouldn't have told that "joke" if she weren't counting on exactly the reaction she got. So even Ann Coulter thinks you're all inbred hillbilly morons.

You should feel insulted, but not by me.

Psst...c'mere

At testimony meetings, you hear people say how they missed church, how there was a hole in their lives, etc., and how happy they are now they've come back.

I haven't been to church in about two months.

And I don't miss it.

Not yet, anyway.

Insomniac Movie Review: Zoom (or ZOOM!)

Title: Zoom: Academy for Heroes
MPAA Rating: PG, for brief rude humor, language and mild action (Remember, G movies don't have action)

Cast: Tim Allen (you should know by now how I feel about him), Rip Torn (he's just there for a paycheck), Chevy Chase (ditto paycheck), Spencer Breslin (that overweight boy who's in too many movies, like the male Dakota Fanning, and in fact was in Cat in the Hat WITH Dakota Fanning), Courtney Cox (seriously, she should have known better)
Director: Peter Hewitt (director of Garfield: The Movie and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey; what an ass)

The Plot: Do you care? Really? It's another movie in which Tim Allen has to prevent some crisis and learns to value family along the way. The only thing that's different this time is that there isn't so much Santa Clause make-up, he doesn't have to pretend to be some form of canine, and Breslin's not playing an elf. Oh, fine. Tim Allen has to train a bunch of kids to use their superhero powers and save our planet from "imminent destruction." You know, these movies would probably be much more watchable if the imminent destruction was ever something that is actually threatening our planet, like pollution or global war... Naaaah.

My opinion (as if you couldn't tell): The adults are all here for a paycheck, and to make sure their SAG union benefits don't get taken away. Well, Courtney Cox might also be here because she wanted to work on a project her child might actually be allowed to watch. The kids are all here so they can have some credits to their name besides "shampoo commercial." Really, three of the four kids have great hair.

I have to say, Tim Allen (playing Jack Shepard, "Captain Zoom") was really phoning it in this time. It seems even he has realized the idiocy of his career direction, and just doesn't care to make any further attempt at believable delivery of his lines. In fact, I wasn't 100% sure he wasn't reading from a cue card. Rip Torn was boring, but maybe he only seems that way because I recall his performance in Dodgeball, and long for my children to go to sleep so I can watch THAT movie instead. Chevy Chase needed to just go home. Only Courtney Cox seemed to care about making me believe her character (the comic book thing was kind of funny).

The thing that really bugged me, though, is when the youngest child, a very cute little girl, had a nightmare and went to sleep in Zoom's room with him. I know, this movie is supposed to be about becoming a family, but the thing is, it's not appropriate for a child to sleep in the bed of a man who is not her father. And I don't get why nobody SAID as much. I realize the film is trying to sell you on the he's-a-surrogate-dad concept, but I'm not buying that any more than I'm buying Chevy Chase as an idiot-genius or any of the other ridiculous crap that requires suspension of not only disbelief, but all common sense.

My five-year-old didn't like it, although it may have some appeal to a ten-year-old. Lie to your kids and tell them the video store is out of this movie right now. Save your money for something more believable, like Wallace and Grommit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.