Merry Christmas from your Friendly Neighborhood Stalkery Loser!

It seems we have an obscene phone caller. He (or she?) generally calls at ridiculously early hours, like at 6 AM or earlier. I say generally, but this person has only called about three times in the past month. Including the morning of Christmas Eve.

Yes, that's right. But I didn't answer the call. My dad did. He kept saying, "Hello? Hello!" with increasing agitation, whilst the Obscene Loser kept breathing heavily. In fact, when Dad later repeated the story to me, it almost sounded like the Loser was snoring, which made me thing perhaps someone hit my number on his cel phone by mistake while sleeping. Dad, of course, dismissed this idea as wishful thinking (quite rightly, I suppose).

Anyway, after about four "Hello!"s from my dad, he finally told Loser, "You sound like you have a piece of s*** stuck in your throat, dumba$$." And promptly hung up.

Way to go, Dad!

I am mildly concerned about Loser. Whenever he calls, the caller ID reads "Private Name, Private Number," so I know he must be blocking his number on purpose when he calls. Stupid turd burglar.

It's okay. I know how to use the pistol AND the shotgun, and after a lifetime of hunting lessons, growing up in Texas, and being married to a Marine, I think I can safely say that I have no problem with shooting someone who tries to stalk me. And I have a fairly good aim.