Thursday, July 05, 2007

Fourth of July

One block.
Three houses.
Forty or more adults.
Fifteen to twenty children.
Two hundred burgers and hot dogs.
Ten ice chests.
Numerous beers, waters, and sodas.
Unknown quantities of mixed drinks.
Five trays of red and blue Jello shots.
Fifty lawn chairs.
Four police officers and three EMTs, all of whom showed up for the food.
Eight hundred pounds of hardcore fireworks (retail value $6000.00), including 8 boxes of "Sexual Fantasies."

The best Independence Day block parties are the ones hosted by a cop. Except for one little thing:

Burns acquired due to improper spacing of fireworks by drunken, overzealous idiots, resulting in the still-burning and whizzing embers landing directly beside my chair:
  • Two on my neck
  • One on my arm
  • One unfixable hole on the leg of my favorite spandex sexy-pants.

1 comment:

N said...

Day-amm! Now THAT would have been a party to be at.

Did they bring the confiscated pot, too?

Sorry about the ember burns... at least your fireworks didn't explode on the ground, like our dumb neighbors did; he came inches away from winning an honorary Darwin Award.