Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ow. And hee! And ew.

So yesterday I'm trying to clean the living room, which isn't going so well since I'm still all congested and the kids are all screamy and the husband's all "You got me sick, so I'm going to play Guild Wars, which is what I do when I'm well, too."

Congestion is perhaps my least favorite part of being sick. It's just gross, is what it is! It gets all up in my ears, and I can hear it mucking around in there. It finds its way into my sinus cavities, causing everything from teary eyes to monster headaches to ridiculous toothaches. Stuffy nose makes it difficult to sleep and breath at the same time. And it's impossible to be attractive when I'm runny-nosed. Just...NO!

So anyway, yesterday as I'm trying to clear away the baby's food tray and whatnot, I realize that I need to blow my nose. Ick. So I grab the nearest fast-food napkin from the table and pause to take care of business.

Evidently, there is a reason that old episode of Sesame Street warned me not to blow too hard. But no, I had to be all superior at five years old and say that Sesame Street didn't know what it was talking about, and then carry forth this brazen disregard into adulthood. I should have just listened to the stupid cartoon, or at least sat down first.

I fainted, people.

Yeah. Fainted. I know. It was embarassing, or it would have been if I'd been conscious. I collapsed sideways onto the rug, my body making sure to hit its head on the hard floor instead of twisting about four more inches to the right and letting the recliner break my fall. Yeah, fun.

So my question: why did I faint?

My only clues are a) that when I blew my nose, it felt like something wet flew out of my left ear (gross) and b) when I sat down and performed the Valsalva maneuver, I had a similar feeling of wet stuff flying out of my ear, and then a similar feeling of the room going all swimmy and dark. Good thing I was sitting down that time.

So now we have a new house rule: I'm not allowed to blow my nose while standing up. This is an addition to the previous rule, which states that my husband is not allowed to sneeze while sitting in the computer chair with his feet propped up higher than his waist (long, painful story).

In the meantime, I'm trying to get some rest and not drive anywhere. I think I got a mild concussion or something, because I'm still having pain and dizziness today. (Not to mention congestion.)


Cowboy said...

Wow, I don't think that's ever happened to me when I've blown my nose! It did happen once when I was taking helium hits off of the balloon tank...

Your head alright?

Chaotic Mom said...

Ew, gross! And I thought it was bad when my son was so congested earlier this week that his boogers came out of his tear ducts. I think that's called reflux, or something. I call it YUCKY.