Friday, February 10, 2006

Trigger Happy Retirees

If you're going to be in the Houston area, you'd better take cover, because the old people are shooting!

This morning in a grandfather accidentally shot a 17-year-old who was arguing with his 18-year-old grandson on their porch. Grandpa says he intended to raise his gun in the air and fire a warning shot to scare the youngster off, but he accidentally discharged the weapon in the wrong direction (or something) and shot the kid in the head. The argument? A fight over money.

Across town in League City, an 87-year-old woman shot her 80-year-old caretaker in the leg. First of all, why is an 80-year-old man (not her husband) responsible for an 87-year-old woman? Is she his girlfriend? Well, she's not anymore. And second, why does a woman this age have access to a freakin' .38? Is it for protection? Is it for the Octagenarian Gun Club? Why? Why? Why! And furthermore, why did she think shooting this man in the legs was an appropriate way to resolve a dispute over the car keys?

I think I'm with Eddie Izzard (the comedian) on this: Why do these grandfathers (and grandmothers) have these arsenals? We're all concerned about the kids going and getting guns and going Columbine, but what the heck are the grandparents planning on doing with them? Thank heaven my mother had the good sense to take away Grandpa's hunting rifles. At least, I hope she did. Hey, Ma?! We gotta talk!

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